Maybe it’s the “rip it off quickly” approach from Band-Aid removal. Maybe it’s the difficulty of continuing to live under one roof once at least one spouse has decided “it’s over”. Maybe it’s related to seasonal issues – like getting re-settled before the holidays or before school’s out – or back. For all sorts of reasons, some people want to be able to work through their separation process quickly.
The good news is that the Collaborative Process can often work with your goals for timing, since there are no fixed schedules or need to book court dates. The process can be tailored to the needs of each family – we often say we can move as quickly as the slower spouse. Sometimes both people are ready to address the practical issues; other times, one person feels like the whole idea of the separation is a big shock and they need time to come to terms.
Sometimes the “need for speed” can be addressed by putting a temporary agreement in place that allows a physical separation without prejudicing either party. The focus on your goals and interests means we don’t impose a format or schedule to your separation process.
Sometimes, the feeling of impatience dissipates as the process begins and the end goals are clarified. The same people who first showed up in a rush, may later decide a bit of a pause in the negotiations may actually help both the process and the outcome. With the Collaborative Process, it is simple to adjust the pace as needed.
This post was written by Jacqueline Peeters.